


To know her is to love her

by rishi06



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-15 14:03:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15414561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rishi06/pseuds/rishi06
Summary: Set during episode 1x16 Falling."Her hands shook as she walked down the gloomy hallway; whether in anger or fear, she couldn’t tell. Of all the ways she could have known, for all the days she wished she did, now she found this particular brand of victory bittersweet: on the one hand, she had gotten unequivocal proof that Kara Danvers was, in fact, Supergirl. But on the other, she had to live with the knowledge that Kara, her disgustingly sweet, unflinchingly caring, sunny assistant had thrown her off the balcony of her own building. Without much thought, with no consideration, with barely any will to catch her before she plummeted to certain death."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Supergirl work! One of the very very few that I've written, so be patient! It's all unbeta'd or well, proofread by me, non-native English speaker.
> 
> So, yeah.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Her hands shook as she walked down the gloomy hallway; whether in anger or fear, she couldn’t tell. Of all the ways she could have known, for all the days she wished she did, now she found this particular brand of victory bittersweet: on the one hand, she had gotten unequivocal proof that Kara Danvers was, in fact, Supergirl. But on the other, she had to live with the knowledge that Kara, her disgustingly sweet, unflinchingly caring, sunny assistant had thrown her off the balcony of her own building. Without much thought, with no consideration, with barely any will to catch her before she plummeted to certain death.

It hurt more than she cared to elaborate at the moment, more than it _should_ , and not just because she thought she could blindly trust Supergirl, could put her life in the hands of Kara without reserve; no, there was a level of pain that ran even deeper. It was the small voice in her head saying that the younger woman had been right, that she was mean-spirited, cold and uncaring; that everyone around her was just a pawn, or someone to obtain something from. That everyone was expendable. 

But Supergirl had been wrong on that account: if she really thought about it, all things in Cat Grant’s life were superfluous and expendable but two, the only exceptions being Carter, and Kara herself. Which was why, upon watching with rapt attention and an ominous sense of dread the horrendous battle between Supergirl and those black ops, and feeling CatCo’s entire building rattle from the fight with the green alien; after the Kryptonian was shot down and contained, she’d run to the street and bullied her way to the top of the command chain on site, with no clear plan in mind but with the _need_ to see her, to know that everything would be alright.

“Let me go. I said, let me go!” Two agents made to grab for her but she crouched and deflected, easily slipping between them and running past with surprising ease in her five inch heels.  
Chaos reigned among the many agents, who seemed unsure about what to do, who to follow, and being the experienced journalist that she was, Cat took advantage of the situation to move further, closer to the impact zone and where all the action had happened. There she caught a glimpse of the cute redhead, Agent Scully as she’d called her, tying what probably was a broken arm close to her body with a rag, no time spared for anything other than practicality. She saw her grit her teeth and grunt as the soldier strapped the arm even tighter, and that was when their eyes met.

“Not you, not now!”

Undeterred, Cat moved closer: “Is she alright?”

Scully hopped off the back of the SUV she’d been leaning against and stomped towards Cat, all righteous fury, and it took all the years of experience as a cutthroat CEO to stay rooted on the spot and not flinch, but she held fast, propped both hands on her hips for emphasis.

“You cannot be here, this place is crawling with agents itching for a fight and if they see a media outlet, imagine how long it’ll take them to demolish you.” 

One look at those deep brown eyes told Cat that it was not an empty threat. It made her realize that bullying wouldn’t get her any further.

“Ok, alright, Agent Scully, look – Scully glared at her, made to turn around, and the CEO deflated completely – Alex, please…” That seemed to have the desired effect as the agent froze on the spot.

“What did you just say?”

“That _is_ your name, right?”

“How do you-” “Kara…she always talks about you. Please, I’m begging you. Is she alright?” And there it was, the truth, out in the open between them.

Alex looked around, too stunned to say or do anything for several moments, then grabbed Cat by the elbow, dragged her off to the side.

“I swear to God if you’re here looking for trouble-”

“I am not, I promise. I just want to make sure that Kara is alright, or that she will be.”

Something must be happening, because suddenly Alex’s head snapped up, she looked to the side and tapped her ear, probably listening in on some update on the situation.

“Alright, I’ll be there” she looked back to Cat, seemingly debating what to do with her. Tapped the intercom again.

“Cat Grant of all people…” she muttered quietly, and then: “Listen very carefully because I won’t repeat myself. You are about to be brought to a top secret government organization; I don’t want to see you talk to people, I don’t want to see your phone out, I don’t want to see you snoop around. You will be my shadow and if I lose sight of you, I’ll toss you in a holding cell. There’s a heap of NDA forms awaiting at the entrance, which you will sign, no questions asked. There’s no time so if you want to come, the bus leaves right this instant”

It was an exceptional, one-time offer, and the CEO knew that Alex was taking a huge risk allowing her into their headquarters, so when she looked back into that piercing stare, there was no hint of hesitation: “I’ll do whatever you want. Just take me with you”

“Danvers here. I need transport for two to the base”

\---------------

Her hands shook as she walked down the gloomy hallway. The Medbay looked like a lab more than a hospital, all glass walls and unintelligible tech beeping faintly. It sort of reminded Cat of her CatCo office, if not for the fact that this place was sterile, cold, almost inhuman. Despite her best efforts and threats, Alex did leave her side after a while, to get her arm treated and presumably assess the situation. Somebody took charge of babysitting the unwanted guest, a young and uncharacteristically warm agent called Vasquez. She kept stealing sideway glances, as though not fully believing that the head of National City’s biggest media outlet was actually allowed to freely walk the halls of their base. From what she could see, the whole operations seemed to have run amok, agents feverishly speed-walking forth and back, desperately trying not to look as frantic as they all were.

“I must admit, this is not quite how I imagined a top secret organization to work”

“You try having the week we’ve had, then we’ll talk” Vasquez huffed.

“Oh, please. I live on the brink of editorial disaster on a daily basis. You should try compartmentalizing, you know. Also, maybe some renovation. This place looks…. – she wiggled her fingers, face scrunched in a disgusted expression – Ugh. Well, it looks depressing. Too supervillain-y. Some colour might help general morale”

Vasquez laughed, losing her composure for a moment “And you’re not quite how I imagined you to be, Cat Grant, CEO of CatCo World Media.”

Sudden movement burst their small bubble of banter with the violence of an emergency, making them both leap back: three doctors were briskly wheeling a stretcher into one of the rooms, an unconscious Supergirl lain on it.

“Is she…”

“Just unconscious.” Vasquez confirmed with a nod.

“Why hasn’t she been detained? What happened to her, why the sudden evilness?”

“It’s not my place to explain, ma’am. But do know that it isn’t her fault or her own doing, and that she’ll be back to normal by the time this is over”

It was all Cat needed for the time being, yet not nearly enough, but there wasn’t anything else that she could say, no information she could extort, no bargaining chip up her sleeve, so she settled outside of the room, close enough to see but not to interfere. The last thing she wanted was to get kicked out when it most counted. She stood there and watched patiently as the doctors ran a full battery of physical tests, marvelling at how they were able to prod and pierce her skin, to draw blood, stitch wounds. She should have been impenetrable. Bulletproof. Untouchable. Yet there on the gurney she looked anything but; just a girl, battered and bruised.

The thought brought Cat’s world to a grinding halt. It made her wonder, how many times had Kara crawled to this place, hurt, to be stitched back together and then rush again into the heat of the battle? How many times had she laid on that same gurney, injured, alone and scared? And how many times had she, Cat, treated her poorly not knowing the kind of pain she’d had to endure? Been cruel and pitiless, not caring about the sadness she could see in the younger woman’s eyes? Supergirl the Saviour from another planet as an abstract concept was a comfort, but Supergirl in the tangible, breakable flesh of mild-mannered Kara Danvers was too much for Cat to bear. How could she ever let the girl out of her sight again? How could she look to the screen wall of her office, watch as Supergirl fought day after day, as she traded blows with all sorts of creatures, and stop feeling the anguish she was now witnessing? How could anyone who knew her, cared for her? How did they overcome this maddening anxiety on a daily basis? A handful of hours, and Cat already wanted to tear this whole organization to shreds, burn the cape and never let Kara wear it again.

Around hour two Alex came back, looking decidedly more tired and worried, a new sling on her arm and a renewed steely expression on her face; she spared her no glance but left a chair to sit on as she entered the room. One small piece offering, Cat recognized it as such. The doctors wrapped up their paperwork, gathered around Alex to give her all the information they had. Somewhere in the back of her mind the older woman remembered hearing Kara say that her sister was a bioengineer, it made sense that she would want to look after Supergirl personally.

“So tell me, Cat Grant. What could possibly drag someone as notorious as you to the depth of the government’s belly, down to this godforsaken place?”

“I think you know the answer to that question” she idly replied, unwilling to divulge more than strictly necessary. Vasquez vas cute and she was kind, warm in a way that ghost organization agents rarely were, but she was still a stranger. Still an agent. Still probably looking for blackmail material.

“I know exactly how you feel – her warm gaze wistfully moved to the open room, a small and sincere smile curving her lips upward – everyone is a bit in love with her. Not because of the cape or what she can do, but for the way she is, despite everything. She is sweet and kind, optimistic to the point of naïveté, tireless in her pursuit of happiness in this small blue dot we call home. Anyone would be lucky to be in the tight circle of those dear to her”

Cat smiled at the admiration transpiring from this remarkable woman, the devotion and deep respect Kara had inspired in her. And of course, the giant crush she had on Sunny D. The CEO couldn’t find it in herself to blame Vasquez. As she’d said, everyone was a bit (or a lot) in love with Kara. It just stung that she was so tired and wrung out, that her emotions were showing so plainly for even a stranger to see.

“I’m gonna go get some coffee. Do you want some?”

“Please.” she begged “Are you allowed to leave me here unattended? Who knows, I might even take two steps back and look at the farther wall. Wouldn’t want that”

A soft laugh, then Vasquez was receding down the hallway, hands stuffed in her pants pockets.

“It’s a brave new world, Cat! On the up side, if you do take two steps back, Agent Danvers will come at you so fast you won’t even know what hit you.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so 2/2 apparently became 2/3! At first I wasn't going to expand on Kara and Alex much, I wanted to keep it simple and have Cat's POV and then Cat confronting Kara, easing the tension between them. But, things happen and not this small universe has gotten wider and keeps on expanding in my mind so, who knows, depending on how things go this might actually be 2/4. For now, enjoy!
> 
> Ah, also! The quotation at the beginning is taken (and loosely translated) from a song by Lorenzo Jovanotti, one of the best Italian singers ever, from the song Megamix. You can find it here if you want to listen:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNoVQ0HtIdY
> 
> It's one of my favourite songs ever, and the inspiration for this chapter.

“You have ribs, amongst those ribs, what is there?  
You have veins, inside those veins, what is there?  
You have vertebrae, inside those vertebrae, what is there?  
You have lungs, inside those lungs, what is there?  
You have clouds, below those clouds, what is there?  
You have boxes, inside those boxes, what is there?  
You have rules, beyond those rules, what is there?  
You have limits, beyond your limits, what is there?  
That what’s above is the same as what’s below.”

“Did I kill anyone?”

Those were the first words out of her lips, because of course they were. Even before opening her eyes, or knowing about her own condition, her thoughts went to those around her. That was exactly the kind of person Kara Danvers was: generous to a fault, stupidly self-sacrificing, a frustrating combination of kicked puppy and valiant knight in shining armour. It also cemented Cat’s belief that Kara had indeed visited this Medbay more than once, had been on this same situation times ad again. One look at Alex’s broken arm was all it took for the floodgates to open and guilt crashed over the superhero like a storm, wave upon wave, increasing with each heart-shattering sob, each strangled word, and something within Cat broke. Hands balled at her sides, she reached up to clutch at her stomach, incapable of bearing the scene unfolding in front of her, the way Kara so clearly needed physical comfort whereas her sister kept her distance. She’d been on the receiving end far too many times to forget how much it hurt when those around you, those you held dear, withdrew affection and human contact. She’d been traumatized as a child by such behaviour, crafted to extreme levels by her mother. It had shaped her into the person that she was now, seemingly cold and uncaring, devoid of empathy. But she was not Kara, and Alex was not her mother. Still, to see the young woman so defeated…

Cat had seen Kara in many difficult situations at CatCo and out of it, hat put her through the wringer in order to make her the perfect assistant, but there had always been an underlying determination about her, the sense that no matter what she tossed her way, Kara would always deliver, always make it to the other side. It was self-confidence fuelled by her own power, Cat now realized. Supergirl soared through the skies but Kara Danvers had to temper that confidence, needed to look meek and harmless, completely forgettable, just a cog in the mechanism. If she slouched, if she smiled too bright, or wore hideous cardigans and boring colours, it was to be invisible. A veil of sorts to shield what was beneath. To hide the extraordinary. Cat could be honest with herself at least on this matter: Kara was nothing if not exceptional in everything that she did. A rare beauty the likes of which Earth had rarely seen. She was a star and everyone who knew her gravitated around her magnetism. That was why it hurt so much to see her so frail and vulnerable, as though saying the wrong word could shatter her like porcelain.

“Here, coffee” 

Vasquez handed her a cup of piping hot coffee, then stared at her as if evaluating her state of mind, or maybe waiting for a confession, a declaration, anything.

“What?”

“I know that look. Seen it more times that I can count. If you squint really hard, you’ll see that Alex has it too. But like I said, you don't need to worry that much: everything’s going to be ok.”

It was the last straw: “How can you say that?! – Cat's voice was shrill, her resolve to remain calm long forgotten – Just three hours ago Kara was wreaking havoc throughout National City, fighting your people, doing damage…”

“…hurting you?” Intercepted the agent, an understanding expression on her face.

“We are not talking about me now!” Cat stage whispered, not wanting to make her meltdown public and attract too much attention.

“Are we not, though?” The CEO bristled, regretting every single kind thought she’d had about this…this…this brat of an agent, unfazed by her presence and too _damn_ perceptive for her own good.

“No, we are not. Just because you contained her, and she looks like herself now, I am to believe that everything is magically fine and dandy again in Supergirl land? That there will be no repercussions? No action taken to prevent it from happening again?” _To prevent her from scaring me like that again_ was what she didn't say.

“I can't tell you all of it, but believe me when I say that the change was not Kara’s fault, and it was reversible. No trace remains in her system, so there’s really no reason to detain her.”

“In her system? So it was like a drug? An alien contamination that turned her into a dollar store, jumpsuit-wearing Cruella?”

Vasquez cursed under her breath, angry at herself for letting the information slip. Damn, the woman was sharp. After all, she mused, one didn’t become the Queen of All Media by being dull.

\---------------

“Alex, what’s gonna happen now? Will they take J’onn? Will they take _me_?”

“I don’t know, Kara. The DEO is a mess, everybody’s freaking out that Hank was an alien all along. I already fielded calls from the FBI and the Army, and they’re out for blood. They’re sending officers here to take charge while they decide what to do with us. I’ll do everything that I can to protect you, Kara, but I don’t know if it’s within my power anymore”

Kara shrunk back on the sun table, drawing in on herself. She felt that ancient stab of desolation again, the sense of helplessness that made her lungs seize and her throat constrict. It was the unwelcome sensation that she was just a bystander in her own fate.

“So, what. I’ll - I’ll go to CADMUS? Is this the end for Supergirl?”

“Hey, don’t do that. We don’t know what’s going to happen, we can only work our hardest to prevent the worst of it”

Alex did reach out then, unable to help herself in spite of the anger still burning in her chest. With her good arm she took Kara’s hand and squeezed as hard as she dared. No matter what had happened, how mad she was, her sister was laying on a bed, hurt and scared, and she needed all the support she could muster.

“Besides, we have some extra…help…this time around”

The agent looked beyond the glass straight to Cat, who was sitting on the chair and doing her best to be inconspicuous about listening in on their conversation (and failing spectacularly). Kara’s line of sight however was blocked by the array of medical equipment, so she couldn’t see who was beyond the room no matter how much she twisted her body or craned her neck.

“What? Who is it? Who did you call?”

“I guess it’s better to let you two talk it out first. Please don’t freak out, ok? I brought her here, so it’s alright.”

“Her?”

“I’ll just – I’ll be outside, call me when you sorted it all out so we can start planning countermeasures” 

Alex fled the room like her pants were on fire which was weird enough to catch Kara’s attention. She lay there confused, wondering who might be on the other side of the glass walls, if Alex was this eager to let her handle it. 

“Ok, this is the part where I let you in and you prove yourself useful. A storm is coming, Miss Grant. The FBI and the Army are coming to try and take control of our organization, and implement their anti-alien policies. They will try to take Kara away to study her like a lab rat. Right now, with no director and half the staff jumping ship, I have to find all the leverage that I can get. I need blackmail material, buttons to push, people to support us. I need you to think really really hard about your connections, and see if there is maybe somebody that you can influence, convince or threaten”

“Agent Danvers, what you’re asking is…”

“…a lot, I know. And we probably wouldn’t be able to protect you if it blows in our faces, but at this point I’m willing to risk everything that I have. For her. Do understand that our lives are on the line here, mine and Kara’s, and it is my duty to save her no matter what. So you can either take that hallway and go back to your life like nothing happened, or you stay and help us keep the military out of National City. Don’t take the decision lightly: this is where your life changes forever”


End file.
